Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
