wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
