ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
