Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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