Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
