my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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