So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
