Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
