i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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