I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
