he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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