I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
