he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
being pregnant is like rehab
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize