Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
