I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
