fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
