yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Go christen that room with your naked body.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
im on a boat
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