I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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