Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
