meet me or not, i'm out of control
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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