my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
