Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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