You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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