addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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