dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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