I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
