Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
