the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
