can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
