I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
