In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
