she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
