i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
