My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
