I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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