I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
