a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
