that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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