Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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