Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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