I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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