so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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