She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
