Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
