Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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