Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
