i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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