I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
