its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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