HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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