I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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