did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
