In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize