youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Please, let me fuck your mom
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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