Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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