Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
