he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
