As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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